Your heart rate suddenly increases, pumping more blood in your muscles and brain. Your lungs are now functioning faster taking more oxygen to supply your body for what comes next. The pupil in your eyes gets larger to see better. Your digestive system and even your urinary function slow down so you can concentrate better.
This is FEAR!
Fear is one of the most basic human emotions. Which is not always necessarily bad. It keeps our ancestor alert and body ready when hunting. It drives civilization advancement in ancient times. Who would not prepare for the fear of being raided by a more powerful clan and turned to slaves? That would surely force you to prepare troops, enlarge your fortress and even develop weapons. That is just my opinion.
These are fears use on a more productive manner. But there is also the most common type of fear. The crippling fear. This is the fear telling you there is a monster under your bed. The fear that prevents you from speaking to the beautiful girl you like for so long, so you just look from a far. (You creepy person.) The fear that prevents you from tackling a large project at the office since your feeling stress that you would just fail. The fear that prevents you from shooting that winning shot on the last minute of basketball in your small-town league but particularly important game to your dad. And let us not get started about public speaking.
These on the other hand are fear preventing you to accomplish your task or progress in your life. This kind of fear should be avoided for you to function at best. These are the tips I have curated for you for battling your fear.
1. Identify Reality from Perception.
Most of the time our fear is just in our head. This is the voice in our mind telling us “What if…?” and then it just worry us out. The best way is to take a step back and assess the situation and ask yourself:
- Is my worry necessary?
- Am I over exaggerating the situation?
- Maybe what I am afraid is only in my head?
2. Identify the Trigger
What causes your fear. Learn to identify them and it would be best to list them down. What triggers you to be fearful. Learning about yourself will help you understand why you are experiencing fear. Now if you feel like you fear is irrational, this might be the best time to reach out to a helping professional. Your log notes on your fear will also help them understand your situation more.
3. Focus on What You Can Control
We must accept that there are certain things in this world that are beyond our control. Like the weather or when a person dies. We should not focus on the things that we cannot do anything about and concentrate more on the things in which we can control.
For example, we should understand that “circumstances” are neutral. It is neither positive nor negative. It only become a positive or negative base on thoughts that we put into it. This reminds me of an old farmer story.
The story goes like this. There is a farmer whose horse run away. His neighbor told him “that’s too bad”. The farmer just replied “maybe”. The next day the horse came home bringing with it other wild horses. The farmer’s neighbor said, “that is very lucky”. But he jus replied again “maybe”. The following day his son attempted to tame one of the horses and broke his leg on the process. The neighbors again said “that’s too bad” in which he just replied “maybe” again. On the next day, a military officer came, collecting all abled sons in their village to join the army and fight in the war. The officer did not take the farmer’s sons since his legs is broken and would take time to heal. When the neighbors heard about this, they once again told the farmer how lucky he was, and the farmer once again just replied “maybe”.
The moral of the story is that there are circumstances which we cannot control only becomes a positive or negative experience base on how we see it. And how we see things in our mind is completely within our control. So, guard the thoughts that comes in your mind my friend.
You can also view Self-Coaching Model to learn more about how our thought affects our actions and results.
4. Positive Affirmation
It might not work as effective for everyone, but daily positive affirmation is also worth a try. This is said to boost self-esteem, improve productivity, control negative feelings, and even help you overcome a bad habit. You can find lots of Positive Affirmation Channel in YouTube. Just find one that you find interesting to you and begin listening regularly.
5. Channeling you fear to productivity.
This technique may require a lot of mental discipline. Like we have said earlier there is good fear and bad fear. Channeling your fear to productivity just means that use your fear to keep you motivated and keep on going. For example, you are having anxiety in failing like an exam. Instead of allowing that anxiety to control you, you use that emotion to keep you motivated and focus on how to prevent what you are fearful of from happening. So, you start focusing on the things you can control and then do it.
6. Practice Mindfulness
Research show that practicing mindfulness helps you in reducing anxiety and depression. Mindfulness teaches us how to respond to be aware of what is happening now, at the present moment, instead of just acting instinctively with emotions or motives driving that decision.
7. Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.
This might not directly stop fear, but it helps you develop a more positive mindset. Every day, give a moment to recall and list down all the blessings you have. What you are currently neglecting might be already a luxury for other people. Doing this will keep your mind positive.
8. Creating a safe space
Sometimes when fear attacks, we just need a place where we feel safe. This can be a bedroom, a secret place or it could even be in the woods. This place not always necessarily need to be a physical location. A safe place can also be created in your mind. Like a beautiful memory or a relaxing place like the sea imagined in your mind. But what is important here is that you do not dwell in that place forever. When you are now recharge and more centered, go out and fight your fear and do what you ought to do. Remember you are the hero in your own story.
